Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Moving on - or trying to

New Year's Day, Pongal, Fridays - nothing is auspicious or special anymore. Every one of those is a sharp reminder of this empty space in our lives that was so full of Shraddha.

Fridays, the day she passed on, especially are pure hell. They feel more like Groundhog Day. Fresh, raw grief comes to the surface all over again.

Jan 16 was especially bad, as it signified that exactly a month remained to Shraddha's third birthday.

The awfulness continues.


  1. Jan 16 was significant to me. I claimed holy 18 steps on the 15th. I never had a heart to confront HIM. I just went around the sanctum sanctorum. I decided to return to the room. Next day I had to perform the Ghee abhishekam and so I drudged back. I was half way or about so... I heard "... kolam sai ... nee enakku tharanum..." well I almost dropped the holy sh... oops sorry ... holy Ghee :)

    My friends have started a Sanadhana Sastha Sath Sangam... but on Jan 16th I met Sandhaana Sastha... never imagined... with the tiny little angel right there surrounded by the "Chin" muththirai (usuallay Sandhaana Lakshmi holds child on her left lap)

    All I can mutter is OH God....

    Life somehow is still going on..

    Hey Shraddha, cant you hear me... when I can always...

  2. hugs Deej... I wish I had more to offer....