Remembering Shraddha

Charan's Birthday

2011-11-30T13:46:00.000+05:30

Hi Shraddha,

Hope you enjoyed Sriccharan's birthday on 25th November.

Poor guy, was down with fever. But was overjoyed to see all his friends and favorites turning up to wish him and enjoy the bash.

The cake was cut twice - first by Charan and then by Minty :)

He got a lot of gifts too.

Sambar rice, Kesari, Vada, Chips, orange juice - to go with the cake - yummy.

Thanks to Lavanya, he gave each one of them, a beautiful plant.

All these under your watchful eyes...

Cake Cutting - Take 1

Winner of Grim Face Contest

Almost got my fingers bitten off

Pranav's Mother & Vasanthi

Cake Cutting - Take 2

Cake or Plate, which is yummy

Charan with his friends

Minty & Arvind

3-some

Caught in the act

Pallanguzhi

Pic for "Add a caption" contest

Sundeep, Vasanthi

Usha, Janani, Sun

Great += Gran, with Great += Gran Children

Smile at last

3 years on and still...

2011-10-31T12:27:00.001+05:30

The number of days you are living in our memories now exceed the number of days you were amongst us.
Not a day, not a single moment passes without thinking about you. Cute little 3 year old girls I pass by bring back "those" days. Was giving sight to 2 unknown faces and leaving us all shattered, the purpose of your birth? We are not even blessed to see your shining bright eyes.

On 8th October, I had this strange dream: A pair of hands shoved you into my hands with a stern warning "keep her sound and safe, at least this time around..."

As an angel, you will have the powers of analysing dreams. Can you please help me with the significance of this dream?

Ever Loving & Grieving Dad
:(

Happy Birthday, Dear Shraddha!

2011-02-16T11:59:00.000+05:30

Hope you are having a big birthday bash above there with all those Angels and Fairies!

We miss you a lot...

With Love,
Amma
Appa
Charan
and all of us in whose memories you live eternally.

Charan's Birthday Bash

2010-11-26T14:43:00.000+05:30

Hi Shraddha,
Hope you thoroughly enjoyed Charan's birthday bash.

I knew and felt you towering over rest of us and clapping and singing "Happy Birthday" cheerfully.
Here is the rest of the album

An Ode to Shraddha

2010-10-31T08:11:00.000+05:30

I remember holding my pink bundle of joy on Feb 16th

I remember your bright, shiny, intelligent eyes and the disarming smile

I remember you crawling all around the house

I remember you taking those initial steps

I remember holding your arms while going to Pillayar Temple

I remember a sleepy little doll in her pattu paavadai sitting next to me when I was doing monthly Ayush homams

I remember resting on the two talking, laughing, wriggling pillows

I remember starting to tell you the paati... vadai... kakka... nari story and you completing the rest

I remember you waving the red shoes from the top of the stairs shouting "appa ennoda pudhu sooo" for months

I remember, recollect each and every moment you spent with us

All these are happy memories...

I also remember lowering you down to your final resting place...

I just want to forget the last one, so please come back us.

New Arrival

2010-06-29T09:01:00.001+05:30

Hi Shraddha,
Lets welcome the newest member of the family! Meet Mahathi, your chithappa's daughter.

Govinda Govinda!!!

2010-06-07T09:39:00.000+05:30

Guess Where I had been last week?

சின்னஞ்சிறு கிளியே கண்ணம்மா

2010-02-17T08:47:00.000+05:30

சின்னஞ்சிறு கிளியே கண்ணம்மா செல்வக் களஞ்சியமே
என்னைக் கலிதீர்த்தே உலகில் ஏற்றம் புரிய வந்தாய்

பிள்ளைக் கனி அமுதே கண்ணம்மா பேசும் பொற்சித்திரமே
அள்ளி அணைத்திடவே என்முன்னே ஆடி வரும் தேனே கண்ணம்மா

ஓடி வருகையிலே கண்ணம்மா உள்ளம் குளிருதடி
ஆடித் திரிதல் கண்டால் உன்னைப் போய் ஆவித் தழுவுதடி

உச்சி தனை முகர்ந்தால் கர்வம் ஓங்கி வளருதடி
மெச்சி உனை ஊரார் புகழ்ந்தால் மேனி சிலிர்க்குதடி

கன்னத்தில் முத்தம் இட்டால் உள்ளம் தான் கள்வெறி கொள்ளுதடி
உன்னைத் தழுவிடிலோன் கண்ணம்மா உன்மத்தமாகுதடி

சற்று முகம் சிவந்தால் மனது சஞ்சலம் ஆகுதடி
நெற்றிச் சுருங்கக் கண்டால் எனக்கு நெஞ்சம் பதைக்குதடி

உன் கண்ணில் நீர் வழிந்தால் என் நெஞ்சில் உதிரம் கொட்டுதடி
என் கண்ணில் பார்வையன்றோ கண்ணம்மா என் உயிர் நின்னதன்றோ

சொல்லும் மழலையிலே கண்ணம்மா துன்பங்கள் தீர்த்திடுவாய்
முல்லைச் சிரிப்பிலே எனது முகந்தவிர்திடுவாய்

இன்பக் கதைகளெல்லாம் உன்னைப்போல் ஏடுகள் சொல்வதுண்டோ
அன்பு தருவதிலே உன்னை நேர் ஆகுமோர் தெய்வமுண்டோ

மார்பிலனாவதர்க்கே உன்னைப்போல் வைரமணிக் கல்லுண்டோ
சீர் பற்றி வாழ்வதற்கே உன்னைப்போல் செல்வப்பிரிதுமுண்டோ

Happy Birthday Shraddha!

2010-02-16T16:57:00.001+05:30

Happy 4th birthday, dear Shraddha.

I read the synopsis of the book The Lovely Bones the other day. Couldn't bear to read the book. But I did wonder, if you, like the girl in the book, are looking down on the family from your perch Up There. Are you? Did you find Mani thatha? If so, I hope you know that you are missed horribly every day and especially today, which would have been your fourth birthday.

Big hugs, sweet child.

Chinnanchiru Kiliyae

2009-12-30T20:57:00.003+05:30

Dear Shraddha,

I attended this year's Aruna Sayeeram concert (Maarghazhi Maha Utsav). She sang the following beautiful song.

Hope you too enjoy this.

Loving Brother,
Sriccharan

Tooth (Un)Fairy!

2009-12-23T09:54:00.002+05:30

Dear Shraddha,

Sriccharan lost one of his teeth. He was rewarded Rs.100 by the Tooth Fairy! (Guess Who!!!).

He is now saying, he needs Rs.400 more to start a R.D in his name and so he has to shed 4 more teeth, which he doesn't like to. So he has asked for a hike.

One more tooth is bit shaky and he wants the rest of the amount to start the R.D.

Moving on

2009-11-30T19:04:00.001+05:30

So the family has moved out of the house at Indira Colony to 18th Avenue. All bags and assorted stuff were packed and moved yesterday. Charan has passed around the new address to all his friends at IC. He was alright, apparently and Jayantha was the one who ended crying buckets that his best friend is leaving.

So much so his mum brought him over in the evening.

End of an era, isn't it? The house where you were born, the one home you have always known, is now home to the family no more. Do you know where the new house is, little one? Will you find your way to the new one?

One Year On...

2009-10-31T21:04:00.001+05:30

October 31, 2009. Exactly a year since you passed on.

You are missed - every single minute of every single day. Not a day goes by when we don't think about you, amazed at your sharp intellect, your generous heart, your joyful spirit. And not a day goes by when we don't wonder how it might have been, had you been allowed to live a long and fulfilled life, as every child deserves to.

You would have been three years and eight months old today. Studying in LKG. Joining anna in his sloka and singing classes. Lighting up everyone's lives.

I wonder what you'd look like now.

I hope you are at peace, dear heart. Beyond pain, hurt and fear. In a happy place. And one day, we will meet again. Till then, every minute will be spent in thinking of you.

Dear little Shraddha.

On A Roll

2009-05-04T10:08:00.004+05:30

காலில் சக்கரத்தைக் கட்டிக்கொண்டு சுத்துரது இது தானா?

More pics...

Sambudu's Betrothal

2009-04-23T14:03:00.003+05:30

Hi Dear,

We missed you a lot yesterday (especially)

More picutures

Jai Shri Ram

2009-04-20T09:51:00.002+05:30

Sriccharan as Lord Rama

Read about the event

Your Bro's latest fab!

2009-04-08T14:11:00.003+05:30

மாடு மேய்க்கும் கண்ணே!

Lord Shiva is Lord Vishnu's amsam. I won't say "OM NAMACHIVAYA". Even He runs to Lord Vishnu for help when in trouble and hence...

Just can't stop thinking about you :(

2009-04-01T13:29:00.002+05:30

Hi Shraddha,

You seems to have done your bit to find a Chitthi!

20 weeks to the day...

2009-03-20T14:09:00.001+05:30

... since you've been gone. How is that possible?

Sage Charan

2009-03-13T14:18:00.001+05:30

So (finally) Anna's annual day function was yesterday! Amma, appa, paati and your athai went to see him dressed up as a rishi and dance on the stage for a few mins, along with three other rishis. Though he saw paati, neither amma nor any one else could make out which of the four rishis was Charan!!!

There was a pre-KG girl who sang "kurai ondrum illai" beautifully and reminded the family of you. Upon hearing about the events, even I could think of only how you would have rocked such events.

Yesterday was also your star birthday. Mini paapa commomerated it by turning over on to her tummy. She did that twice so we could tick it off the list and has gone back to lying on her back! Lazy baby!

In other news, Srimathi chithi has come to Madras from US, with baby R. Amma and Charan will be going to see them at mammu paati's house over the weekend.

Dreams

2009-03-09T14:41:00.003+05:30

I dreamt of you last night.

You were standing a distance away from me and playing. I kept calling out to you to stop and come back, let's go home, amma'll be worried. But you just smiled your trademark smile and kept playing on the swings. Swinging 'sky high'.

And then I woke up.

No sense of smell :)

2009-03-06T15:11:00.002+05:30

Hi Shraddha,

Your mom complains that she could not smell a thing!

You know what... I held a camphor under her nose...

Hey someone out there, pl. complete this

PS: I met Aruna Sayeeram @ Satyabama University today - occasion - COL honoring Indira Nooyi, Pepsico CEO with Golden Lotus Award 2009.

I told her, "Mam, my son is very fond of your song 'vishamakkaraa Kanna..'", Is that so? she said. "Tell him, I didn't mean him... ha..ha..ha.." she concluded.

Dear Shraddha

2009-03-06T14:22:00.002+05:30

Dear Shraddha,

Today is P's birthday. We got him a cake and he will cut it in the evening. Mini paapa saw it and wanted to eat the whole box! She is a lot like you - looks at us whenever we munch, just like you! Tomorrow P is having a party for his friends. I hope it will be a nice sunny day like today. Otherwise I shall have to manage a bunch of children in one small room for almost 3 hours!!

Charan anna's school day is finally going to be held next thursday. He is going to be dancing, wearing a rishi costume! Amma, appa, paati, athais, chithappa are all going to see him on stage. Don't know yet about thatha and Janani akka. Anna is quite nervous but excited about this. You know the funny thing? When I was at JV, the first time I went on stage as a part of the annual day programmes, I also was a "rishi"!

Mini paapa is lying down next to me as I type this and is singing! She puts her index finger in her mouth and goes "aaaaaa, aaa-aaa" and can keep at it for up to 15 minutes at a stretch. She also keeps her feet flat on the floor and raises her bum. And does a wiggle! But she hasn't rolled over on her tummy yet - nor does she feel inclined to! Did you crawl? I remember seeing photos of you flat on your tummy!

Cold Comfort

2009-02-19T03:47:00.001+05:30



What though the radiance which was once so bright
 Be now for ever taken from my sight,    
Though nothing can bring back the hour  
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;          
We will grieve not, rather find          
Strength in what remains behind;         
In the primal sympathy         
Which having been must ever be;          
In the soothing thoughts that spring          
Out of human suffering;

- Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood   by William Wordsworth

Happy Birthday Shraddha!

2009-02-16T15:16:00.001+05:30

You would have been three years old today. I cannot put in words how much you are missed now.

First pic taken soon after birth

Seated in her favourite spot

Many Happy Returns

2009-02-15T19:42:00.000+05:30

What else can I say? Where are you my Darling?

Poignant

2009-02-03T23:41:00.000+05:30

The house is full of photos of a little girl - last year this time, she was here, asking "how come there are no photos of me, like there are anna's?" A year on, the house is full of photos - but the girl has gone.

3 months ago...

2009-01-30T15:25:00.000+05:30

... this day, this bright light was taken away from the bosom of her adoring family. Suddenly. Irrevocably. Out of the blue.

Leaving us to wonder.

Moving on - or trying to

2009-01-28T23:40:00.001+05:30

New Year's Day, Pongal, Fridays - nothing is auspicious or special anymore. Every one of those is a sharp reminder of this empty space in our lives that was so full of Shraddha.

Fridays, the day she passed on, especially are pure hell. They feel more like Groundhog Day. Fresh, raw grief comes to the surface all over again.

Jan 16 was especially bad, as it signified that exactly a month remained to Shraddha's third birthday.

The awfulness continues.

Remembering Shraddha

2008-11-09T15:00:00.000+05:30

It has been ten days since Shraddha passed away.

For adults, the 10th day ceremony would have been conducted today, with much fanfare. For a little girl, gone way before her time, it is only us remembering her.

Every day, every hour, every minute since October 31 has been spent in talking about her. How can there be so much to talk about a child who lived less than a thousand days? But there are so many tales of her antics, her doings that we still haven’t exhausted them all.

One of her most endearing traits was her absolute enjoyment for life. She rarely replied something was ‘fine’ - it was always ’super!’, with her hand making the classic sign to go with it. Mangoes, hot vada, the day’s subzi, holiday trips, everything was enjoyed to the full. Most of all, she delighted in her mother - hugging her mum, cheek to cheek and just showing her mum her love. This is the one thing that is sustaining my maami now - remembering her daughter’s tiny hands around her neck, her baby voice joyously saying ‘amma you are soooo beautiful.’

Typically of a child surrounded by lots of people, she started talking quite early. With a mind like a sponge, she absorbed everything and anything around her. Her older-by-two-years brother had just started shloka classes but this mite used to recite ‘Shantha kaaram’ just by listening to him!

She wanted to do every thing by herself - this included swinging ’sky high’ (her words) on the swings and climbing to the top of the climbing frame. Back in May when I suspected The Bun might be a girl, she put away her trike for the baby - not that she went without. She just started riding her brother’s proper cycle, with the training wheels attached, of course!

There are so many things I could tell about this bright angel. How she was looking forward to going to school, how she made us laugh when she said she would study in Madras Medical College and do the commute on my mum’s Ford Ikon, how she crawled around the house pretending to be The Mintlet and gurgling, how I thought of getting both her and The Mintlet matching ghaghras for my brother’s wedding, signing both of them for dance classes….

As a family, we had rejoiced in her sharp intellect, her cute ways and the essence of being Shraddha. We hadn’t bargained on our joy lasting for barely 32 months. And now, this bright angel, who lived life to the fullest, was always full of joy, has now left us forever.

And some child in Chennai is now seeing the world through her shiny eyes.

You are right, Shraddha. You truly are a big girl. And I cannot believe I would never see you again.